The Politics of Loneliness

We've all heard or read about it. Something called the "loneliness epidemic", right?

Loneliness has been considered a bad thing for a while.

Of course, there is scientific data to prove just that.

Loneliness is considered to be just as deadly as being idle for long periods of time.

So, as a perpetually lonely person who, even in a crowded room, struggles to make connections.

I know that I might die young.

And I also might not die happy.

But my thoughts, feelings, and existence are important anyway.

Loneliness, however, has been demonized in so many different ways with the same conclusion:

You need to be extroverted.

You need to make connections.

You need to talk to people.

And why?

Because it’s how every ounce of productivity can and will be squeezed out from you.

That is ultimately the bottom line.

That, if you’re an introvert, it doesn’t matter what your boundaries are, what your comfort level happens to be in a given social situation.

Society literally cannot function without your participation and, by refusing to participate for any number of reasons…

You lose social capital.

You lose the ability to be seen as part of “the norm”.

You lose the agency to be able to be yourself because being your introverted self is counterintuitive to societal notions of personhood.

If you’re introverted, you perpetually have to fight every fiber of your being just to exist in most societies.

Whether you live under authoritarian rule or in a so-called “individualist” society, you likely have to struggle with being seen as a contributor to public life and culture, regardless.

You aren’t just allowed to be yourself and exist in a reclusive manner and, in fact, you will be pathologized by every institution possible.

Even if you are naturally this way, it’s not socially acceptable, hence, you need to change.

Everything from work, school, family, friends, etc. demand that you change, as if no one in these groups actually knows you.

And as if this is the perfect way to live for everybody.

Loneliness is not a good thing.

We know that.

We know that loneliness can be… well, lonely.

No one wants to be alone, right?

Wrong.

I do. I definitely wish that I could be a bit more lonely and this being a socially acceptable thing.

I thrive on loneliness, so long as I remain rooted in reality.

And, in all honesty, the world literally drove me into the loving embrace of loneliness by continuing to ostracize me and literally make me feel like I cannot be a good person by being a lonely, introverted and neurodivergent person.

My existence, boundaries, and perspective are not respected because I refuse to completely give in to these societal norms and notions of being a person.

These oppressive expectations that are placed upon me, despite being different, must be questioned.

Because, as much as social interaction benefits us…

Time alone can give us the revelations that we need to move forward in life,

Because, when you’re all alone and have no choice but to face your feared thoughts,

To face the trauma that caused you to be as lonely as you are in the first place…

You gain resilience,

And strength,

And persevere.

So try being lonely for a little bit, maybe even just a few minutes, if you can.

It might give you perspective on how to face this life in whatever you may be struggling with.

And, otherwise, it might show you that you’re struggling with something in the first place.

Just don’t overdo it because,

Of course,

We are still a social species,

And that’s ultimately why social connections are something that we all crave,

Even I crave them from time to time.

That’s why I write.