Why I'm back to school at 30

And may just quit my job

I’m 31 now, but last semester was my first semester of college since I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in 2018 from the University of Houston, and I was 30 at the time.

I also attend university online, remotely.

As always, I had been pondering what to do with my life, and (between insecurity and career pressures) realized that “upskilling” would be a good idea for me.

However, after a few months of using Coursera, DataCamp, FreeCodeCamp, Codecademy, and a plethora of other platforms along the way, I realized that, while I love the self-starter route, I need another way to upskill.

Having ADHD and OCD creates the lovely combination of perfectionism and distraction, to where I enter this toxic cycle of starting something, becoming frustrated, then leaving the project for another hobby, barely finishing as I’m scared of failure to the point that I never try to begin with.

So, while I have probably started a million Medium and WordPress articles, websites, art pieces, and other projects, combined, I seldom finish any of these things.

When was the last time that I really finished something? When I had a deadline that wasn’t self-imposed. I won 6 first and second place ribbons at the local county fair because there was a deadline for submitting artwork, I finish projects at work since there are deadlines, I finish class assignments because there are deadlines, none of which are actually imposed my me.

So, naturally, this led me to going back to school, as the Coursera deadlines weren’t enough for me to motivate myself, I needed more and I also needed to see the results of my labor ASAP, as is the case with work or making art.

Joining Boston University’s first online offering for its MS in Data Science was the decision that I made because I was attracted to the allure of project-based learning for an MS program, which has proven to be the case (so far) after a semester in the program.

Since joining this program I realized that I, indeed, knew what I was doing when I chose to go to a school known for grade deflation when the program, itself, is focused on deliverables rather than tests and quizzes.

After my last attempt at an MS degree (which I decided to quit due to moral reasons dealing with the school, Liberty University), I worked on project, after project, a portfolio of which led me to my current role.

Now that I’m in a position, once again, where I may need to find new income sources and possibly a new career path, I am in need to create projects for my portfolio — talk about killing two birds with one stone.

So, although the material is very dense and difficult, the project focus allows me to better realize and remember the end goal — create a viable portfolio for a career path that I will love.

I’m also flirting with the idea of possibly going back to grad school for a PhD in political science, or a related field, to obtain domain knowledge and contribute to the field in a practical, data analytic manner.

This way, I may be able to tap into academia and position myself as a data scientist with a PhD.

So, even though I may be experiencing external pressures from the job market and from financial strain in life, I need to continue to hope, dream and pursue.

I am autistic and, according to at least some data, our life span runs between 39 to 52 in the West. This is half to 2/3 of the lifespan of the average person.

I have no more time to waste and spend merely coping, as a 31 year old autistic person.

It is time for me to prioritize myself as, at this point, I am well beyond the midlife point for the average person like myself.

Sure, I may end up an exception. As a Filipino, autistic, queer, non-binary, chronically-ill person with ADHD and OCD, I have always been different — call me the exception in many ways.

But pardon me if I feel that it is important to understand my own mortality, and ponder upon it.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us, but it’s about time that I at least begin to think about what I want future generations to think about me.

Or what my loved ones may think about me when the time comes that I, too, reach the end.

And I can think of nothing more than doing what makes me happy.

Considering how much data I look up on a regular basis, whether it be data on population decline in Japan and South Korea, or the potential impacts of colonization on metrics, such as IQ, I love learning about.

And what I love the most about learning is understanding the data — even though I have taken it for granted for so long.

So, if I’m going to have a career for the rest of my life, whether it be a long life or one that ends prematurely, I want to make sure that I am understanding and analyzing the data that matters the most to me.

And I also want a reason to keep engaging in my passions for art and websites.

I want to use my unique, very expansive, and adaptable perspective to perceive, analyze, and utilize data to create new knowledge while, at the same time, living a full life where I mend my regrets.

So, of course, I will continue to pursue data, but I will also pursue art and web development.

This year, I will do my best to graduate with my MS in Data Science, and maybe next year, I’ll simultaneously obtain employment in Data Science or, to ensure flexibility, become my own data science firm.

Though I may be willing to sacrifice the comfort that comes with a Fortune 500 job or the time that I have when I’m not pursuing a degree from a Top 100–150 school in the world, I will gain crucial skills and knowledge, as I plan to do so for the rest of my life even outside of a school environment.

In short, I am 31 now, and pursuing a graduate school degree to propel myself, my future, and my potential legacy.

And, honestly, on Friday, I was actually searching for potential career paths that I may be interested in.

I had no idea that political methodology was a field that I could enter, even though I was pouring hours on the Cook PVI for individual counties right after the past two elections here in the US.

The possibilities for someone like me are legitimately endless, and maybe it takes a little bit of bravery on my end to fulfill something that is actually fulfilling for me.

My current role at work is supposed to be a data analyst, but I'm constantly being pushed to do more.

Now, doing more is something I voluntarily do, as is the case with this role, but the problem comes from wanting more output from me while taking away my resources and ability to work properly.

My company has just instilled a return-to-work mandate and, as someone who is going to school, this is not the news that I wanted to hear.

My ability to not sit through traffic for two hours a day (except for one day a week) is what has allowed me to do as well as I have done.

And I also have known that I do NOT want to stay at my current job.

So, between this seeming devaluation of my work, the apparent "writing on the wall" that my accommodations that allow me to work from home for most of the week will be taken away at some point this year, and the fact that I cannot envision myself working another year at this company - yes, I may just quit this current role.

I have no idea what's in store for me this year.

But what I do know is that I am 31. While many people would consider this to be on the older side, in today's job market with people of longer, and longer lifespans, I know for a fact that a career change at 31 will allow for an, overall, better career trajectory than if I were to wait 5 or 10 years.

I'm also a millennial (later side but still), and our milestones aren't exactly consistent.

I'm sorry, but I don't value being a homeowner as much as I do my legacy, my future, and my actual potential not being wasted doing a corporate job that exhausts me for no reason other than the busy work that I'm assigned.

Money may not be as much of an issue if I were to tow the company line, come into the office (that's scheduled to host more people) to risk my health (I'm immunocompromised) for 3 days a week, and get used to it.

But doing this will also give me 2 days less every week to be my full, authentic self. I'm autistic, putting on a facade for 18 hours a day will not make me more productive, it will leave me irritated.

And I'll also likely fall ill far more easily.

I'll also have less time for school simply because I'll spend more time in traffic.

Unacceptable.

Demoralizing.

Demeaning.

It will not happen.

Call me spoiled, call me whatever you want.

But I know that I'm talented, smart, and I have potential, and I have already proven my worth and value.

If this company does not want to respect this, then it is simply good bye and "make sure you wait for my complaint with the EEOC (because it is illegal not to grant a reasonable accommodation in the US)".

If this company wants to join the rest in failing their employees and losing their talent, then fine by me.

I am not defined by the company that I work for.

I can only allow myself to be defined by the work that I do and by what I make of myself in this world.

And so I'm, more or less, done with the idea of being a corporate pencil pusher - figuratively speaking.

So, in preparation, I have began to purchase annual subscription plans for the most important services, such as the hosting plans for my portfolio and potential business websites, to ensure that I am prepared to freelance if needed.

I have purchased several VoIP phone numbers to ensure continuity if I were to need to move out of the country for cost of living reasons.

I switched my carrier for my second device to Tello from Visible because I can easily downgrade to Tello's $8 a month plan to keep a US line of service for SMS messages while having unlimited calls that I can use via WiFi calling (without roaming, I promise this isn't an ad).

I will continue to take the steps that I need to take to ensure my future. This MS program will provide me with long-term benefits that are just too good to pass up and, unlike with my job, I can make mistakes and it won't irreparably harm my ability to continue.

And I may just write more, produce more content, make more art, work on my websites, and have the time to explore my interests.

Yes, it will be hard to move to the Philippines with my parents (my backup plan) as I was born in and never left the US, but my future is worth it.

Yes, it will be hard not to be able to buy from Amazon every single day, but my future is worth it.

Yes, it will be hard to watch other people my age progress in their careers dutifully while I ponder my next steps, but my future is worth it.

Yes, it will be hard to tell all of my loved ones why they will need to call or text a different number from now on (if I don't end up buying a new Tello line and transferring my existing number there), but my future is worth it.

I have spent so much time stuck in the past, but my future is worth fighting for.

A brighter future on my terms is what will bring me happiness.

It will always be my priority to make sure that I maximize my future, my legacy, and my ability to be myself.